So Many Random Thoughts...

I'm so often baffled, how my brain can hold so many random thoughts...
Hubster claims I over think, perhaps he is correct. It's the way I'm wired.

So today, I dedicate my blog to some of those off-the-wall random musings.

B is still in Afghanistan. His deployment is going well. I've shipped about 10 boxes to him so far, trying desperately to make his days a bit brighter and let him know how much I support his decision. He told me he opens the box, takes a few items, then shares the rest with his buddies. Last Monday after mailing 3 boxes off to him, I received an e-mail from B telling me how good a Guava RockStar energy drink would taste. No problem, his momma thought... nine stores later I finally found the drink my son was so thirsty for. Needless to say, I emptied the shelf and went to the courtesy desk requesting a case from the stock room. The box enclosed a note stating, "as you wish..." I miss my son. I'm so proud of what he is doing. My prayers are constant that God protects him from harm and brings him home in one piece...body and mind. Love him so.

I miss my Dad. Some days, it just hurts. To ease the pain, I eat a Swiss Cheese with Alfalfa Sprout on wheat toast sandwich. It was one of his favorite sandwiches, so I feel better being by ingesting something he so enjoyed.

Bright-Eyed-Beauty left a message on my cell phone this week... in a very soft voice she said, "Hi Nana. I sick. I throwed up. I love you. See you soon." Such sweetness, even when she is not feeling well. I picked up a small panda bear and took it over to her, telling her it is the feel better bear. Precious thought we should name it Barry Bear. Two days later, Precious came down with the same virus. Since I had to work, Pa took a get well soon package over to the girls filled with stickers, coloring books, crayons and Pinky the Pig. Precious has decided she must sleep with Pinky until she is all better. Hopefully, Belle doesn't come down with this...my poor daughter. Love them so.

Hallie buried her son yesterday. Dear God in Heaven, my heart hurts for her and her family. How are we mere mortals supposed to carry such heartache? I know the answer is to pray for each other and accept God's love. Some days I feel so small. May Hallie know God's love and find some peace in her heart as she travels through this difficult journey.

John's window for deployment opens in June. This will be his first deployment. I know it is what he wants to do, therefore he has my total support. After hearing of Hallie's son, CJ...I called John to remind him of all the things I know he knows...but words he needed to hear from me again. I need my sons to know they never need to feel too sad or too scared. Those feelings pass, with time. Everybody hurts, feels scared, or feels sad... I'm always there for my guys, I pray it is enough.

Congrats to Chief! We have been invited to his retirement. It was such an honor to welcome him home from Iraq. He is truly the type of person I want my sons to look up to and admire while they serve our Nation. Chief has a strong presence, one of confidence and gentleness. Truly, a good guy!

Work is getting busy...which is a good thing. I'm so exhausted, on my feet for such long days. Physical exhaustion is a good exhaustion. This blog is therapy for my mental exhaustion. The other day, another Blue Star Mom was in the shop...I believe I wrote of her a month or so ago...her son deployed to Afghanistan about the same time B deployed. We shared hugs and tears last month...and we shared more hugs and tears the other day. Not everyone gets it completely. I am so grateful for people who share their concern for my son and I do appreciate all the prayers lifted. However, when I hug a mom who is walking in my shoes...it's just a little different. We understand the Vegetable Soup of Emotion. We understand the pride, and fear and deep love we have for our child so far from home. We know the intensity of prayer lifted for bringing our children home whole. We understand the stress of driving home and looking around the corner to make certain there is no 'car' parked in the front. Please don't get me wrong...for all of you who do not have children serving...I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your positive thoughts and prayers.

May Almighty God Bless and Protect each and every Airman, Soldier, Sailor and Marine.
May Almighty God watch over my son.